Commuting

My commute never has a dull moment, and for that, I must thank the following for their participation:

* To the drivers who scream down our road going at least 40 on a one-way street. Congratulations. You have truly proven that having two exhausts on an otherwise normal car does make you look like an idiot. Thank god for side-mirrors that bend in.

* To the City of Somerville for the "fustercluck" that is Somerville Avenue. I understand that the 100 year-old sewer system needed to be replaced. However, I can't understand why the same section of the road is ripped up, paved over, then ripped up again a few weeks later. I've replaced all four tires, two gauges, and found a 3-inch construction-grade nail in one of the aforementioned new tires. And if you're going to repave, could you at least cover some of the potholes that are ruining my suspension?

* To the police officer stationed at this fine construction site talking on his cell phone. Sir, if lawmakers have decided that the Average Citizen is too distracted to talk and drive at the same time, then you shouldn't be talking while directing us in our driving.

* To the sanitation workers holding up a detour road with their dump truck. Call me silly, but if countless cars are being redirected down this road to avoid aforementioned construction, let's use some common sense and start the trash collection after the school/work morning rush.

* To the compact car who tried to barrel down the street that is in theory two-ways, but with parking is far too narrow. I've got news for you buddy: my car is bigger than yours and has a V8.

* To the jogger who wisely hit the walk button, but then foolishly jay-ran anyways. Thank you, you've wasted 40 seconds of our lives.

* To the mother who caused us all to miss a light change because she was screaming at her kids in the backseat. When I was a kid, the phrase "don't make me pull over" put the fear of god in you. I'm willing to bet it still does today if you use it every now and then with enthusiasm and follow-through.

* To the woman who had a parade of traffic trailing behind her forever. A little less texting, a little more driving.

* To the driver who beeped at me when I zoned out at the light. Mea culpa!

* To the cyclist who passed me four times over the course of five miles. Buddy, you make me nervous when you veer into traffic to avoid the same potholes I'm watching. But next time I'm following you -- clearly you know a few shortcuts I haven't found yet.